I’ve been feeling a little disconnected from my heart for the past few weeks. It’s felt jarring, how quickly some old and not-so-heart-centered habits and thought patterns could sneak in and try to run the show.
This disconnectedness has felt subtly sad, and it’s had a flight impulse on its heels. There’s been a deep longing to be on a silent retreat, to drop in and soak up each present moment, and a less-than-compassionate sense that I “should” have been making a retreat more of a priority to preempt this kind of disconnection. A yearning to be traveling, to be out exploring and connecting to the world, has been coming up loud and clear, too, in a similarly unfriendly tone: “If you say travel brings so much joy and value into your life, why haven’t you been making it a priority??”
As I’ve reflected on the impulse to get out of my daily life in some form, the usual comedy of thing has settled in: What would being somewhere else actually offer me that isn’t available to me right where I am?
“Wherever you go, there you are.” Isn’t it true? Whatever we try to escape by rearranging external circumstances follows us wherever we go until we stop and look it in the face.
We have preferences. This is always going to be the case. The truth is, I would love to be in a sweet, quiet space surrounded by nature with no agenda whatsoever right now, and I did need the reminder of how important retreats and travel are in my life so I can make sure I plan appropriately moving forward. But the truth, too, is that I can create the type of presence and quiet and heart connection I’m craving right where I am, too.
Once I remembered this – which is really what we’re always doing, is re-remembering the truths that simplify and increase joy in life, again and again – I was as stunned by how quickly compassion and heart-centeredness returned to the scene as I had been by how quickly they’d exited stage left before.
One of my favorite reminders in mindfulness teachings is that, “We can always begin again.” These words comfort me without fail. Wherever we are, wherever we go, whatever we wish we were doing, feel we should be doing, or believe we shouldn’t have done, we can always start fresh in this moment. We’re given infinite “do-overs” in this life. When we stray from the path we intended to stay on, we can simply come back, no judgment or punishment necessary. We can just start again, right where we are.
Is there some path you’re feeling you’ve wandered off from and are having trouble finding your way back toward? If so, how would it feel to give yourself a total pass on the wandering, and simply give yourself permission to come back and start again?
We don’t need fancy resources or special circumstances to connect to our hearts in this present moment. We just need to remember to remember, and to be willing to forgive ourselves for the wandering that is going to happen from time to time. It’s not about staying on the path 100% of the time. It’s about being willing to come back and start again when we notice we’ve strayed.
Here’s to you coming back to where you want to be – right now, right where and as you are.
In Love and Support,